One of the most enduring myths in the world of pet adoption is the belief that you must meet a kitten or cat in person to see who "picks you" or who you bond with. While it’s a romantic notion, it isn’t always practical or reflective of how true connections with cats are formed. Let’s explore why this myth persists, why it’s not always accurate, and how choosing a kitten or cat can still lead to a deep, meaningful bond—no matter how the decision is made.
Where the Myth Comes From
The idea of a pet "picking you" often comes from heartwarming stories of shelter animals who instantly connect with a human. Perhaps a cat jumps onto someone’s lap, purring, or a kitten reaches out with a tiny paw, melting their heart. While these moments do happen, they’re often more about the cat’s personality, mood, or curiosity than a cosmic bond.
This myth also stems from our human desire to feel chosen, which adds emotional weight to the experience of adopting a pet. However, this mindset overlooks the fact that relationships with cats, like humans, take time to grow and evolve.
Why Meeting Isn’t Always Necessary
1. Cats Are Complex Creatures
Cats have unique personalities that don’t always shine in unfamiliar settings. A shy kitten might hide when meeting a potential adopter but could transform into a loving lap cat once comfortable in a new home. Similarly, a bold, outgoing cat might seem to "choose" you in a meeting but could become more independent after settling in.
2. Catteries and Closed Breeding Programs
For breeders, especially those running closed catteries (like mine), it’s often not possible or safe to allow every potential family to meet kittens in person. Protecting the health and well-being of kittens and adult cats is a top priority. Visiting introduces risks such as stress, illness, or disruption to their environment, which can negatively impact the kittens’ development.
3. Personality Matching Is More Reliable
Reputable breeders and rescue organizations take time to understand the personalities of their cats and kittens. Through observation and experience, they can recommend the perfect match based on your lifestyle, energy level, and preferences. This approach often leads to a better long-term bond than relying on a single meeting.
How Bonds Are Truly Formed
1. Time and Patience
The real magic of bonding happens after adoption. When you bring a kitten or cat into your home, you’re creating an environment of trust and love. Over days, weeks, and months, your relationship will grow as you learn each other’s quirks, habits, and needs.
2. Shared Experiences
Simple moments like feeding, playing, or curling up together strengthen the bond between you and your cat. These experiences build mutual trust and affection that surpass any initial "picking" moment.
3. Respecting Their Personality
Cats thrive when their unique personalities are respected. Whether you have a playful, energetic kitten or a laid-back lap cat, understanding and adapting to their needs is the key to a strong connection.
Why the Myth Can Be Harmful
Believing in the idea of a cat "choosing you" can lead to missed opportunities. A shy kitten, a cautious adult cat, or a cat who isn’t immediately outgoing might be overlooked simply because they didn’t put on a show during a meeting. These cats often blossom into the most loving companions when given time to adjust.
Trust the Process
When adopting or purchasing a kitten or cat, trust the expertise of breeders or rescuers who know their cats best. They’ll help guide you to a companion whose personality fits seamlessly into your life. Instead of looking for an instant spark, focus on the exciting journey of building a relationship that will bring joy and companionship for years to come.
Conclusion
While the idea of a kitten or cat "choosing you" is a sweet thought, it’s not the only—or even the best—way to find your perfect feline companion. Bonds aren’t forged in a single moment but through the shared love and care you provide each other over time. Whether you meet your new cat in person or rely on the guidance of a trusted breeder or rescuer, rest assured that the bond you build will be just as special, if not more so.
In the end, it’s not about who picks who—it’s about the love, trust, and joy that come from creating a forever home together.